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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167725">Take What I Want When I Wanna</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Strikes_Twice/pseuds/Lightning_Strikes_Twice'>Lightning_Strikes_Twice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alina hates the Darkling, Darklina smut, F/M, What else is new, but also kind of canon divergent, but also really wants to fuck him, but aren't they always?, canon compliant i guess?, dubcon-ish, literally nothing else, set somewhere after ruin and rising if Alina hadn't fucked up the easiest game of FMK ever, tablefucking and taunting, we love to see it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:40:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Strikes_Twice/pseuds/Lightning_Strikes_Twice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now Alina, I know you can be louder than that." </p><p>Literally no plot whatsoever, they just fuck. </p><p>Title: "Strange Addiction" Billie Eilish</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take What I Want When I Wanna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Darkling ended the meeting abruptly, banishing generals from the war room with barely any warning. But he’d grabbed her wrist before Alina could file out with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t quite remember what she’d said to piss him off this time, couldn’t quite remember anything as his hand closed around the bare skin and all thoughts ebbed from her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His lips hadn’t been gentle, and she’d all but bit him back. Angry and rough, a display of power with neither willing to back off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until she’d broken first. Why did she always break first? Letting a breathless moan slip from between her lips as his teeth grazed her throat, and she threw her head back to give him easier access. Even as she cursed the satisfied chuckle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A surrender. Always a surrender. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How many years had it been now? And he still held this power over her. Alina growled as he yanked her back from the kiss by his grip in her hair and spun her so that her back pressed to his front. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you be loud for me, little Saint?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She snarled at the nickname and barely had time to brace her hands on the table in front of her before he shoved her forward. Hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alina hated how her body became pliant for him. Hated the arch of her back and the rush of anticipation up her spine as he touched her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hated how wet she was from a few kisses. Slick and sticky and so easy for him to slip inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groaned as his hips met her ass, buried deep and quick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alina bit her lip and whined, trying and failing not to wiggle her hips back into him, silently begging him to move, to thrust, to just fuck her already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If the touch of his skin on hers drove her mad, the feeling of him inside her was sometimes so overwhelming it was hard to breathe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that, Alina? Use your words.” Alina’s nails dug into the wood of the table, itching to smack those perfect lips for their taunting her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will not beg you,” she spat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed. The Darkling just rocked his hips against her and laughed. Alina groaned again. She would beg him before it was over and she knew it. As did he. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A surrender. Always a surrender. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave no warning before pulling back and slamming into her with enough force to drive her thighs painfully into the table. Alina saw stars. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She let her head drop into her arms, biting her lip against another whimper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled back so slowly she wanted to scream. Slam. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, of course you won’t beg.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His pace was far too slow. Her skin felt like she was on fire. She knew she was probably starting to glow, no doubt summoning without realizing with him thrusting into her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-no,” she mumbled into her arms, gasping as he gripped her hair again, yanking her head back so that her back arched and her face was exposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Speak up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hissed through bared teeth. “I won’t beg you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed again, leaning over her body, running his tongue along the sensitive skin behind her ear. “Then you will scream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alina barely had time to draw a breath before he straightened up and set a brutal pace, thrusting into her hard enough that she was forced onto her tip-toes, trying desperately to brace herself against the table. He kept a hand fisted in her hair, making sure she could not muffle any sounds that slipped from her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Saints, but she tried. Alina bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, fingers clutching at the table and calf muscles straining against the snap of his hips and the rapidly pooling heat at her core. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If only your followers could see you now. What would they think of their Saint defiled, wet before I even touched you? Biting her lip to keep from screaming? Would they still pray to you, Alina?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something between a sob and a moan ripped from her throat as his other hand gripped her hip to change the angle, driving deeper into her as he spoke. She hated the way her skin prickled at his voice, how her toes curled as he spoke such horrible things to her. Hated that she knew his grip on her would leave bruises, and yet every inch of her skin craved his touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hated knowing if she told him to stop, to let her go, that she didn’t want him, it would be a lie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“P-please- ugh!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was burning. Body on fire, inside and out. And she was steadily losing her grip on her resolve. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too late for that, darling. You already assured me you wouldn’t beg. But I still intend to make you scream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another sob tore from her. Her legs were shaking and her thighs ached from being slammed into the table again and again. Yet she still pushed back into him with each thrust, chasing the edge of the chasm that yawned open before her. He tugged on her hair, changing the arch of her back from pleasant to just barely painful and Alina choked on a moan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now Alina, I know you can be louder than that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She whimpered and shook her head, the thrill of defying him like this outweighed her embarrassment of knowing that the guards and servants outside the doors of the war room could no doubt hear her nearing the edge. As they’d no doubt heard her come apart again and again in the dark bedchamber beyond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another moan escaped her at the thought. Let them listen. Let the other Grisha think she was his whore once more. Let all of Ravka think it.  In a way she was, wasn’t she? What was the point in being ashamed, when it had given her more power than any mortal should ever have a taste for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Louder, Alina.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook her head again, even as her moans bounced off the walls around them. Even as his voice grew rougher and his thrusts more erratic and she knew he, too, was hurtling straight for the edge, dragging her with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hand left her hip and slipped between her thighs, finding her clit. A few strokes of his fingers and Alina could feel herself crumbling, light seeping from her skin and illuminating the room with a soft golden glow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moaned in earnest, not bothering to try to bite her lip anymore, head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut as she danced along the edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He switched the pace of his fingers, circling her instead, all the while still driving into her from behind. “You don’t cum until you scream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alina knew they heard her sobs through the door. Half the palace probably thought he tortured her when they were alone, half of them thought he fucked her. In a way, she supposed they were all correct. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pressed his fingers to her clit, stroking her hard and fast and it all became too much. He leaned over her body, sweaty black curls falling against her shoulder and rasped in her ear, “Alina. I told you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>scream.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her thoughts whited out. Her head was empty enough that she forgot to hate herself for the grin on her lips as she screamed for him. Loud and glorious, she tightened around him as her legs shook and light burst from her. She kept moaning as she felt him follow her, filling her as he sunk his teeth into her shoulder, the old scars from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>nichevo’ya</span>
  </em>
  <span> throbbing under his touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only sound in the room was their panting breaths, heart rates slowly returning to normal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate you,” Alina whispered, his body still covering hers, lips now tracing the shell of her ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He snorted, pulling back and adjusting his clothes, as she turned to face him on shaky legs. She fixed her pants and straightened her kefta, daring to attempt a scowl up at the Darkling as he ran a hand through his dark hair. He laughed at what was no doubt a ridiculous expression, the angry twist of her lips counteracted by the blush in her cheeks and the glow that still clung to her skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love it when you lie to me, little Saint.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her frown before sweeping from the room, taking all the reassurance of his presence with him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! I'm lightning-strikes-twice on tumblr, come say hi!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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